On the success of others…
Do you have a few of those things that you’ve hated yourself for doing all your life and have wanted to change or maybe accept? As I reflect on my 40th birthday tomorrow (yup, 40 with a toddler – that was always my white picket fence dream… erm not…) As I reflect (oh – but I wouldn’t change a thing, except maybe the expectations I had growing up…) As I reflect (oh and I never wanted a white picket fence…) Anyways, as I reflect on my 40th birthday tomorrow I’m trying to not be super critical of how things have eventuated versus how I expected things to eventuate. I’m trying to be kind to myself. I’m trying to be grateful and focus on the positives. Its my life and my choice of perspective – yet its still hard.
This last year I have worked on my self worth a lot. My aim is to be content. I’ve always had a project on the go, never ending to do lists and a drive to keep ticking things off so that things will then be perfect. Its a flawed system. Happiness is always unattainable as there is always something more to do to get me there. I’m also good at not doing things in case I fail. If you don’t put in 100% you can use that as an excuse for not being successful. Also a flawed system. I’ve done some great work with ‘More Confidence‘ (highly recommend) this year and am much better able to focus on the here and now and live in the moment. I’ve gotten more selfish with both my actions and my time and there has really been a positive impact on my life and excitingly there has also been zero negative impact on those around me (contrary to my expectations). The thing I still want to work on though is celebrating the successes – mine and especially the success of others.
I really did grow up a mean girl. Not on the outside with flawless hair and teeth, gorgeous besties and rampant high school popularity. But on the inside – hating anyone who achieved more or did better than I did. Having to criticise and nit pick others to make myself feel good. Why do we think a put down moves us up? And in hindsight it damages me more than anyone else. So this year I truly want to celebrate the success of others – I want it to inspire me, motivate me and to learn from it. I want to help others achieve success – warm fuzzies for all involved. And I want to aim for, accept and celebrate my success without guilt or apology. Success without the but…
Wish me luck…
I really loved this Miranda. I relate to a lot of what you’ve written like being a ‘mean girl’ and if something won’t be perfect or I haven’t put 100% in I’ll just give it up. I’ve done a lot of work on myself in the past year too, lots of self help, organisational/productivity techniques, psychology, Buddhist philosophy etc. I think regularly reflecting on where you’re at is really helpful and I really need to do more of it :/ haha. Thanks 🙂